Otherhood

The clip below was shared with me this morning.  I appreciated it so much that I thought I’d share it too.  I’m all for “otherhood” and the decision NOT to have children.  I don’t believe every woman needs children to feel inspired, complete, or fulfilled.  It’s not for everyone, and it’s important to respect that. Hell, I’m a mom and I’m still not sure it’s for me most of the time.   I wish that I received this message  as a young woman more than I was asked: “When are you going to have kids?” “Why don’t you want kids?”

A full, happy, and accomplished life IS possible without a child. It’s possible without a husband too. You are not less of a woman for choosing not to have either.  By all means, secure them for yourself if it’s truly what you want, but don’t assume women who opt out are making “the wrong choice.” It’s ignorant, you sanctimommy, you.

I know that some of you reading this may think all of this is obvious, but Guam is a very traditional place.  Young, accomplished women are pressured so much by family and friends to have children and get married that it literally makes my stomach turn.  I have friends who have done amazing things. They’ve earned their doctorates, traveled the world, started their own businesses; and I’m always confused when someone approaches them and seems to belittle their amazing feat by reminding them that they still don’t have a kid or that now, “a child should be next.”  It doesn’t have to be next if you don’t want it to be.

I love the idea of re-writing the fairy tale.  I hope the women, especially the young women, in my life know they have all the power in the world to write their own stories and set their own goals.

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